I WANT TO COMPLAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
TEARS TEARS TEARS... ):
I'm so poor thing LOR. ): ): ):
sighs! My face now is red, itchy and pain. ):
Have been itchy-ing for 2 days. hai. ):
AND I FEEL LIKE SLAPPING MYSELF.
GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
and my sis say MUST NOT BE HER PERFUME. SHE SAY, LAST TIME I ALSO GOT PUT PERFUME WAD. ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ
sigh sigh sigh! Is really so tortourous. Its so itchy, and then when u scratch too much, its so pain. And! Hope won't leave any scars. zzz, please, i already had enough of scars!
EW.

hai.. say so much also no use...
You see, when you don't have money, u can't do a lot of things.
Tomorrow, i'm going polyclinic. Hopefully there's jab for me. zzz.
I HATE THE DOCTORS THERE. Whatever, you can think that i'm a complain kid, but, i don't care. WHATEVER.

grr. I'm pretty pissed off. I want to cry lor, this thing is so irritating. Damn it. GRR. If anyone hate me right, u can spray perfume all over me. And then I make sure i chop u into many pieces.
Please please please, if you put perfume, don't ever come near me. GRRRRRRRR. DAMN IT DAMN IT DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

)':

The thought of having to wait long in the polyclinic makes me more pissed off.
I hate this. Next year, my piano fees is $200, in fact, it is already now. Maybe to you is penuts, but to me, sometimes, its easy, sometimes, still can, sometimes must drag. You know how I feel when my piano teacher say: among all my students, you are the only student that always pay your fees at the end of the month, and sometimes further than that month. But when i go home and tell my father that, he just say, tell your teacher I really cannot la... Or, can next week give fees anot? And the thought of my tuition teacher's wife's face, saying: We really have no choice... the market outside is also at this price, we have no choice, we must raise the tuition fees. I'm very sorry... HA. Live in condo, ownself got job, son also got GOOD job, you don't even have the "no choice" choice. ohoh, i'm so so so sorry if i had misunderstood you yea? -.-

I can't even think of having chemistry tuition. I really really hate chemistry. All the nerds and the hao bao bao must be thinking, you got no money for tuition, then just study yourself la. But you know what, chemistry just make me so stressed up, so fed-up, so pissed off.

But you know what, I should might as well blame myself. Because I'm not earning any money. But tell me, how the hell to earn money when you have school, o levels soon, chionging piano like mad... homework... math practises... CCA..., you want to do well for exams, for squeezing into the top 25% so to get bursary again, for doing well in piano so that no money is wasted, and the worst thing is, emotions. More over, when you don't know anything. Just like an idiot.

Sigh, but i feel like I'm talking completely rubbish. Cause I'm slacking everyday.

Life is really really unfair, some people, they are educated because they have the money to. And then, they have high pay job in the future, and their children lead a good life. But some people, you sell wanton noodle, and you are just so kind hearted, you don't mind losing money. Anyway, you're just poor, then your children don't have the chance to study a lot, or maybe, some people are just born to be stupid, they just work the same old job everyday, with little pay. Rush like crazy everyday, don't tell me rich people work extra hard. I think my parents work hard TOO. But, stupid is stupid. And I'm stupid too. You know how it feels to be so dumb? Whatever things that people say, you just HUH HUH HUH?

I know i'm not as poor as the children in South Africa, don't tell me you are actually a lot more times better than them. Thinking of my two rich friends, because of money, they can have anything they want. What do they live in? What do they play? Where do they go during holidays? How many good food have they tried? Don't freaking tell me to compare with people that is poorer than me. It dosen't make sense. Should I be satisfied, happy, CONTENTED that I'm living a better life than a person more more more poorer than me? Is there such a person? Do you learn geography?

Right now, I couldn't take up tuitions, and I'm worry that in the future, I don't have money to study what i wanted to study. But anyway, at least, i can still work. Just that I'm not only.
So what are you still complaining about?

zzz. mao dun right.

oh! i hate myself, and then what's the use of hating yourself? i will just think that, why the hell are you having such low self esteem, why are u so useless, and then people will just despise me more. And then i will hate myself more, and then it goes on and on and on.

Don't freaking tell me
ITS NOT ONLY YOU THAT IS POOR, more people are even poorer than you, you should think on the bright side! You don't have the reason to cry, you should smile. Cause this is kind of insult. And don't freaking show me the weird, disgusted, lame-ed face.

ya la ya la, i just have to blame myself for everything.

I feel like stabbing myself, every where.

TODAY I GOT RASHES ON MY FACE.

itchy and pain. ):

all because of my stupid sis's perfume. GRR.

thanks a lot!

In the afternoon, went to have lunch before badminton. Then go for badminton, the more i play, the more i sweat, the more i wipe my face, the more my face hurts. ):

sigh*... badminton was fun :) but can't really think well.

BUT! my dear's so sweet, he bought very very very bitter liang cha for me. haha :D

hehe, so went to the driving center at 5 then eat nice nice fried rice. lol. (: lalala~

In less than 2 weeks, school's reopening. I just wasted my whole holiday. Yup, i say this EVERYTIME. 1 week passes so fast, its gonna be friday again tomorrow, aw, have to complete piano theory and practise math! ):

sigh! I better go do now. Tsk tsk.

I CANT FORGET MY LUNCH TODAY! YUM~

):

I'm super fat. hahahahaha So today i went to jog... jog like half and hour, ALONE, WITHOUT MY MUM TO ASK ME ( at least a little motivation ), I GO JOG ALONE! I WAKE UP MYSELF, I PULL MYSELF OUT OF BED, AND I GO WARM UP AT THE PARK ALONE LIKE AN IDIOT. WAHAHAHHAHAHA

PROUD OF MYSELF*

i guess a few days later i will be too lazy to do that again! YAY. so when i reach the park, i was thinking, aiya, cannot lose how much fats one la, so i just jog, GOT STOP, catch breath, then i tell myself, u come jog because its an exercise, so that you will feel good later. ( NOT SLIM DOWN ) lalala~ is this a good or bad thing? x.x

OKAY. Erm, TODAY MORNING, there's something in my throat, ): now still got, like some tumor, LOL. Its not sore throat, something just stuck there. MAYBE IS ADAM'S APPLE. (: LALA~ Then, after jogging, i came home rest, eat, STOMACH ACHE. i tell u!!!! GRR. my stomach have not been feeling well since YESTERDAY. For the whole night yesterday... and then this MAKE ME CAN'T SLEEP! GRR. also, maybe was feeling kind of vexed for some things too, feel un-comforted, un-easy, worried, whatever, but don't know for what reason anyway. cause i don't feel that always, they just find me unexpectedly. zz. HAIZ. aiya, anyway, i din't do much things today, until now... and i spend 1 whole hour to do piano theory, and i only finish ONE TOPIC. T.T

dao gey dao gey dao gey................

Anyway, i'm gonna play badminton tomorrow! I want exercise!!! ):

SCHOOL'S REOPENING SOON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HURRAY, I DIN'T DO ANY HOMEWORK EXCEPT FOR 2 DUNMAN SEC OR HIGH 'S MATH PAPER. YAY. I'M PREPARING TO DIE.

STILL GOT PROJECT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CHERYL WEELEE SHU JUAN JIN XIA SUI CHYUEN!!!!!! STILL GOT WHO AH?????????? :x DO PROJECT LIAO!!!!!!!!! :D

nananananananananana~

oh no... ):

How long does ugly duckling takes to evolve?

Sigh*

That's when i love you.

HEY THERE DELILAH~
its a song yo.

Today's such a lovely day! (: Well, excluding morning and afternoon.. keke. I'm too tired now to talk about what happen last few days. I still haven't blog about ms wong's wedding! And i'm so hungry now.

And someone's such a sweet guy! ): BUT! i can't credit him infront of my parents! D: He bought MAGGI, crab meat, kokokokocrunch, milk and soba! Help me settle a few days' meal. :)

^^v

Okay, i shall blog about last few days. Ms wong's wedding was unforgettable because i was scolded by andy. He said this in front of all the people. "EH, kahhwee, you wear like that very fat leh". This make me very determined, not to ever wear skirt/dress, until i ever think i'm slim, which is kind of impossible. Don't be stupid with me, i got eyes, i know i'm not AS THIN AS U, you want to say i look FAT, you don't have to say it in front of everybody. Its so embarrassing, I won't be jealous of your malnutrition-ness. Is being fat a CRIME? Zzz. NO RIGHT.

Yesterday, went to cheryl's birthday party with a baby stuff as a present. Before that, went to bukit timah hill in the morning with whole family... like grandparents, uncles and aunts. and, i was eating ba zhang at the visitor center, happily, slowly. NO MONKEY SNATCH. Then, when my aunt took my grandma's pear to eat, MONKEYS came. :D its super funny. cause my grandma is saying: aiyo....... sayang.............. ( a pity ) LOLOL. while i was taking video. but in the end i never save. YAY. BUKIT TIMAH HILL NOT AS EASY AS I THOUGHT IT WAS. i don't know why we walk the super steep road. So, less than half and hour, we decided to leave. :P cause there's 3 old folks: grandparents and I. (:

After that! went to erm..... i forget the place is called what... is like... something remembrance. ): Remember the uncle i said last time who pass away cause of cancer? We went that place, where their ashes are kept, place, to pay respect. And there's actually a place for 2 people, like when they pass away, they can put their ashes together, and photos also together yea! And then also saw children that pass away. AND. that place's really suitable for studying. cause its so peaceful.

ha.. so after that went to eat lunch. when they're almost finish, they push the food they ALL cant finish. there's like 10plus people. AND THEY PUSH TO THE YOUNGEST ONE. THERE'S LIKE YOUNG MAN WHO SUPPOSE TO EAT A LOT. THANKS A LOT AH. feel very headache. but then go orchard still drink coffee. yay. orchard was never so sian before. cause no one wants to shop with me. -.- zzz. boring.

so, to cheryl's party, at first was kind of boring. cause really nothing to do. but then until at night then better. cause got like ELVIS! and then people like soonkeat and amos and cheryl was push into the pool. and people play around with CHOCOLATE cake. waste. cause very nice. hehe. but then i was too tired. so i do nothing. BUT, don't know why there's still chocolate on my body. aw.

okay... nothing much already. Also can't remember. (: LOOKING FORWARD TO TMR. TODAY'S A NICE DAY! That's because i went to meet my dear!!!!! (: He go driving, so i wait for 1hr 40mins! PROUD OF MYSELF! its still okay. cause i was doing maths. hehhehe

lalala........................................................................................................................ and great! my blog shop have to delete all items again! hais.

BYE people.

i want to change my url soon.

Hugs please, anyone? ):

I dont know where to start from. but i know i want to blog badly! yet i cant describe well... i just feel kind of lousy. ): uneasy... i guess today's a bad mood day yea? :(

oh, do u know i have a lot a lot blogs? haha.. er, u look at my profile >>

then u will know, i just deleted 5 blogs. haha.. although i hide them all, erm, from public, i dont mind sharing them already. but its really just like diary. haha. its all the past. life is really interesting yea? i read all the post then realised, wow.. many things happen in the past! but, they are really kind of craps. haha.. u wanna see? hack into my blogger bah. just dont delete anything yea? :D my username and password is really easy! haha.. maybe password not that easy. :)

Yup, and changed back to default template. have been looking for a blogskin since i came back from tuition. but cant find any.. so... decided to use this! nice ba. haha.. and, i wont be putting up tagbox yet. But, maybe i will just do so the next day. haha.. girls are really emotional. I dont like it, but, can't help it. or maybe, tmr i will just change back to blogskin again, and delete this post.

I'm currently trying not to scold myself here. Cause i think it looks really stupid. opps, i just scolded myself..... haha.... haiz! Now, after looking at what i post in the past, which i talk much more craps, so detailed. i guess i really care too much about how others think of me. so, i dont want to put up a tagbox... yet.

Again, i hope someone could make me cry. i need a good cry, not in this house of course. cause i cant cry for no reason HERE. i know i'm really weird. sighs... i really don't know what to do... But, unlike the past, i'm not giving up..

By the way, i'm talking like no one can see this. oh then why am i saying this? haha.. shutup.

I really got to be disciplined already, AGAIN; in everything. Where has the hardworking kah hwee go!? i want to be hardworking again. And i want to be saying: its not about winning, its about surpassing yourself, again. I want to get back my determination! If i go on slacking everyday, where do i find my memories next time?! i know i'm kind of sot now. haha..

I really got the motivation to play badminton again. I want to get into top 4, really want.

我不甘心。But, there's no one to blame even if we did not get into top 4. I'm really speaking the truth. Compare our trainings with the volleyball team and you will get it. Its not that i want to win. i don't want to win people, i want to win myself. I remember saying this myself very long ago: The biggest enemy is yourself. I feel slack, i want to lose a game where i don't feel that I've lost a game. Don't forget what nanyang said to us.

you dont deserve to be here.

I just want to put in my effort in everything again. and be a perfectionist again. If not, then what's the meaning of life? Please please, i don't want to be lazy... Cause life is really too short.

and then you know what, i remember something.

So what about my freaking back?

):

sometimes i cant do somethings, sometimes i'm too stupid to do anything. Or doing the wrong things. Ending up only making others angry.

and.. I guess this is hu leng hu re ba? But no one's to blame.. Coz no ones wants this.

I know i'm really like a crazy girl talking about weird things. But I actually feel happy after writing so much. coz i know i'm thinking again. Well, really hope i don't lose this feeling when i wake up tmr..

sighs...

comfort my soul will ya?

):

hello
i'm gonna change this skin soon i guess.. hehe, first time see nice but then now i think ok-okay.
haiz haiz!!!!!!!!!
I MISS PE!!!!! ))))):
lessons.

actually i dont have the mood to blog. but then im here to crap because i dont feel like doing anything. despite that i have piano theory, a math tuition to revise... and, i already forgotten what holiday hw i have. coz i dint touch them (: haiz! , im slacking a lot a lot these few days. today morning wake up i like pig lor. keep wake up then sleep wake up then sleep wake up then sleep. D: but then drag myself to wakeup coz sleep too late make me feel very sick for the whole day. D: i really hope i can FALL sick. not like abit sick always. want sick dont want sick. so xing ku! ):

I WANT FEVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOHOOO.. like that will become slimmer. LOL. just prevent me from eating more junk food and encourage me to drink more water and eat fruits....... zzz. anyway, i realised that when my lip itchy that time, also quite good. because i wont eat so much. (: hai............................. im talking rubbish. oh, and i still got blogshop to do also... but have been doing for past few days.. so take a break.. blogshop not easy i guess. but slowly ba. (: no hurry.. haiz!!

oh ya! wanna see porn? im gonna show u guys here!!! on my blog. omg... if anybody's beside u, dont scroll down hor! im serious. its R21.............................OH. and prepare tissuesssssssssssss if u gonna nose bleed. (:

hahahahhahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahahahahaha!!!!!
he says: im an asshole....................................! LOL. -.-


GOOFY! :D
one day, i feel sick again. and i was alone at home. nothing to do, and too sick to do anything. so i talked to goofy. day dream. and i felt better. LOLLLLLLLLLLLLL. haha..

somehow.. i feel like crying now.. haiz.. and then wish that no one know my blog. but then i feel that is like no meaning to blog when no one see what u wrote. but then i dont want anyone to know coz i can write abt anything...... u know.. like nothing happen. or maybe something not major, aiya, dont know la. i feel kind of sad... argh..... i really dont like this. wasting every single day. doing nothing. no goals. suck. and i feel disconnected. but then i feel like hiding in one corner. zz. be autistic.

i dont know... i dont know if im making a big fuss over something small.. or is it big. lol. haiz... or maybe... sad over something that couldnt be help. ): haiz. but im happy coz im feeling sad. at least better than having nothing in my brain. u know u know........ :( haiz... tmr's gonna be another boring day. i will feel so tired when i wake up... then the sun will be so glaring... and then u on the com... and go to viwawa to kill time... u got so much hw beside... and u dont want to do them. its so restless. its like everything u do is meaningless because u are only with me, myself and i. damn.

okay. i just saw a dvd my parents watching. a real human who hanged himself. zzz..

haiz.. forget it. a failure is always so. i can never do anything to success.
good for nothing. so what are u doing here? freak off.